What insights did he come away with?
1) Remember that life is short.
His research began with a simple question: “What are the most important lessons you have learned over your life?”
Respondents included homemakers, entrepreneurs, and even a former
Tuskegee airman, and their answers touched on topics like marriage,
children, money, work, aging, and health.
One unanimous refrain included just three simple words: Life is short.
2) For career? Do what you enjoy.
Though many survey participants had lived
through hard economic times, instead of urging younger people to get
steady, well-paying jobs, they consistently said, “Do something you enjoy.”
“Based on this extremely acute awareness of the shortness of life, everybody
argued you should find work you love; work ought to be chosen for its
intrinsic value, and for its sense of enjoyment, sense of purpose. And
life was much too short to spend doing something you don’t like, even
for a few years.”
3) Healthy living? “Treat your body like you’re going to need it for
100 years.” With modern technology, unhealthy living doesn’t mean you
die sooner, it means reduced quality of life when you’re older.
4) Biggest regret? Pointless worrying.
Instead of offering advice like “eat your
vegetables,” “go to bed early,” or “don’t smoke,” participants in the
survey consistently responded, when asked about their health: “Treat
your body like you are going to need it for 100 years.” …The elderly,
he added, understand that modern medical technology means people with
unhealthy lifestyles are “sentencing themselves to 20 or 30 or 40 years
of chronic illness.”
Similarly, respondents surprised Pillemer
when he asked them to name their biggest regrets. Instead of listing
concerns like affairs, addictions, or shady business dealings, almost unanimously they answered: “I wish I had not spent so much time worrying.”
5) Happiness? Don’t make your happiness contingent. Be happy in spite of bad times.
Another standout lesson from the survey involved the notion of being responsible for one’s own happiness. While it sounds like a cliché, said Pillemer, “It’s a critical part of their lived reality, and their argument is as follows: Younger
people tend to be happy ‘if only’. … Their view from later life is that
this has to morph into being happy in spite of things.”
How many of these mistakes are you making?
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